I have
learned more from my boys then I have in my own 34 years of life.
In their
young age they have shown me that first and foremost I am a mother, this is
what defines me. Not my job, not my past. Being a mother is my single greatest
achievement, it is what gives my life meaning and guidance.
They have
shown me that I am strong and that despite the bad days, when the stress and
anxiety about Sam become so unbearable and everything seems to be crumbling
around me, I will wipe away the tears and I will carry on. Not because I am
brave but because I am a mother.
I know
there will be more bad days ahead, but my boys have shown me that it's okay to
cry. Crying does not make me weak, instead my struggle makes me human and with
each tear I wipe away, I become a stronger and better mother.
I am not courageous,
I am a mother, a mother of two amazing
boys who remind me every day to live in the present. This is the single most
important lesson they have taught me; and when you don't know what the future
holds for your family, this is the only truth that matters.
Sam is
delayed because he has not reached his milestones on time. Abandon the notion
of time, and Sam is a normal, happy, smiley baby. After all, he has his whole life
to learn how to walk, to run, to talk. At a young age, children have no notion
of the past or the future, they only understand the present. In his
innocence Sam does not know that he is delayed and Loic does not know that his
brother is different. He does not ask me why his brother is not yet walking, he
loves him for who and how he is, no strings attached. Their innocence
transcends all notions of time, rendering expectations meaningless. All that
matters is the here and the now! Wouldn't we all be a little happier if we
could see the world through our children's eyes?
But I am a
mother, my days revolve around time (exercise time, nap time, play time, bath
time, story time and bed time) and my thoughts revolve around my children's future. I cannot abandon the
notion of time but I can reshape my focus, my attention and my perspective. With
Sam, all we can do is wait and see...but I plan on making the best of this
waiting game. Time will not be my enemy, I will befriend time, tame him and I
will enjoy every precious day, hour, minute and second of this life; because let's
face it at the end of the day, time goes by too fast!
“Happiness,
not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”
― Walt Whitman
― Walt Whitman
